Sunday, July 12, 2009

Two Dollar Niggas, Vol. 1 - Ho Sandwich Niggas

Okay, so I didn't come up with the term "2 dollar niggas". I don't know if he was the first to coin the term but when I heard Project Pat shout "put two dollars in the air for these two dollar niggas" over and over again on his 2006 album Crook by da Book: The Fed Story, I knew that I had bore witness to something truly special. Finally, a clever term that perfectly sums up the concept of the individual that is in a sense, worthless. For me, this term invokes my imagination with a multitude of mental illustrations.

Picture if you will, the first worthless person that comes to mind. Now, picture this person standing in front of you and Bob Barker (former host of The Price Is Right) asking you to cast your bid. What will it be? Does breath even need to be wasted? You take out those two one-dollar bills from your pocket, probably leftover change from those mini sirloin burgers you purchased from Jack in the Box, crinkled or crispy (does it matter???), and you throw it at that person's feet. Nuff' said.

You take a look at Bob Barker..."and the survey says!"....

Okay...I think that's Family Feud but you get the idea. is so easily conveyed yet we have not stressed the availability of terms and concepts to describe this marvel of human existence.

Now that we have the introductions out of the way I want to get to my main point and that is to expand on this term, using it as an umbrella to cover other terms that I think describe other components of a feasibly worthless human being. First up, "Ho Sandwich Niggas"...

You've all seen this before, two niggas (usually friends) trying to holler at the same chick at the same time, in effect, creating a sandwich of pure comedy and foolishness. Keep in mind that I use the term "ho" very lightly and by that I mean that of course not all girls that make up the meat of this sandwich are necessarily hoes but for the sake of clarity and conveyance I will just run with it. Okay, so if there was ever any chance of any of these two particular niggas successfully courting this young woman, that option is now a matter of futility. Why? you ask...well it's all science my friends. Take into account a subject within governing dynamics called the Nash equilibrium which is loosely defined as follows:

Informally, a set of strategies is a Nash equilibrium if no player can do better by unilaterally changing his or her strategy. To see what this means, imagine that each player is told the strategies of the others. Suppose then that each player asks himself or herself: "Knowing the strategies of the other players, and treating the strategies of the other players as set in stone, can I benefit by changing my strategy?" If any player would answer "Yes", then that set of strategies is not a Nash equilibrium. But if every player prefers not to switch (or is indifferent between switching and not) then the set of strategies is a Nash equilibrium. Thus, each strategy in a Nash equilibrium is a best response to all other strategies in that equilibrium.

I know, I kind of goes over my head too but what I can definitely take and apply from all of this is that if niggas are to present any game to a female they must do so one at a time or not at all because they are likely to effectively cancel one another out becoming nothing more than a comedy show entertaining their once prospective conquest rather then conquering it.

You probably think I've described the worst but no...there is definitely more to come so stay tuned...

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